本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Dear Gregory

Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.

I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest?

2. I will always know the password.

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads “Mom” or “Dad”. Not ever.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone’s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It’s a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person – preferably me or your father.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts. Don’t laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear – including a bad reputation.

13. Don’t take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO – fear of missing out.

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone. Merry Christmas!

xoxoxo

Mom更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

我家很早就给孩子买手机了。当初也是 Pre-paid 方案，目的是应急。

后来孩子长大些，需要与同学 text 联系，就给他加了 text 方案。并且明确告诉他，此方案只包括一定数量的短信。他开始还好，后来觉得不够用，但我们与他交谈，他也可以接受。

现在他社交范围广了，就给他买了智能手机，带各种功能、方案（17.5/月），但在买之前明确告诉他，不能抱着手机不放。他明白其中厉害关系，当然满口答应。

现在他有时会用手机、电脑，或者其他娱乐太多，我们都会逐步阻止他。有从警告到处罚的过程，没有直接处罚的。

比如像你家这种情况，我们肯定会说：今天是你买手机第一天，我们理解你的心情，你多玩会没关系。但是，决不能每天如此。如果以后再这样，那么我们就不得不替你保管手机，直到你学会自己控制为止。

总的原则，把主动权交给孩子，由他去选择后果。这样，他怎么可能很你们呢？

仅供参考。

理由很簡單，要麼用無上網功能的手機，要麼用錢打公用電話。她的電腦老爸給試制了不能email，不能facebook，不能skype。她曾經偷改過，被她爸發現，警告：再改，就沒收電腦。

每天有半個小時上家裡的電腦查email，週末晚上上facebook。每天晚上12點電腦自動關閉，到早上7：30她的電腦才可以工作。超過12點，電腦上的作業做不完，我們不管，誰讓你不抓緊時間做呢！必須要保證足夠的睡眠，第二天才可上好課。

孩子對我們意見大，有是我們也心虛，自問，是不是狠了點？但事實證明她不能管好自己，我們就要給她立規矩。我有幾個朋友的孩子都有你兒子的情況，他們和你一樣很痛苦孩子上網成癮的問題。

不过，你儿子也挺有心机的。那个unlimited SMS应该是他原来就预谋好了的，只是不敢先告诉你。

另外多花时间跟孩子在一起：教孩子下棋，跟孩子一起做project。孩子就没有时间玩游戏了。我家孩子也是这个年纪，也有不少问题，但是哪个孩子在这个年纪没有问题呢？我们小时候也是这么过来的。过了这个坎就好了。