Each age group need different experience. Anything important to you today will just be a past in the future. However, we still need to follow our heart to looking for something which we think it is important as per our age and knowledge. -tracyl(花花) @费城华人论坛:费城枫下论坛 The Rolia Forum of Philadelphia

枫下佳缘 / 情爱悠悠 / 爱，情和欲的区别 -player(Bill); 2012-8-8 {422} (#7703520@0)
一个人喜欢另一个人，是因为有爱，或者有情，或者有欲

爱-----是意识层面的，是不带个人牵挂的，大爱即是空。

情-----是潜意识层面的，相互牵挂和约束的，人的六识决定了情的发生和结束。

欲-----是记忆层面的，一旦欲望在人体留下记忆，那么该记忆就会迫使人体去得到类似的体验，如果实现不了，人就会很痛苦。如网瘾，毒瘾，赌瘾，情伤等

正确认识到人体的机制，做到不以物喜，不以己伤，减少对欲望的追求，才能避免自己在人生中受到伤害。

这些问题是没有答案的，琢磨也没用。 -lilianliang(彪妹); 2012-8-8 (#7703536@0)

儿子大了，在谈恋爱，很担心他受伤。这些话是想对他说，却又不知怎么跟他说。只好贴在这里，希望他能看到。 -player(Bill); 2012-8-8 (#7703549@0)

做父母的总是希望孩子们少受伤，却忘了，受伤也是人生一种难得的体验…………经过千锤百炼，才能羽化成蝶…… -lilianliang(彪妹); 2012-8-8 (#7703560@0)

很多人认为，人生是一种体验，体验越多就越好。其实人是不同的，有的人很敏感，记忆对他的影响很大，有些体验对他的代价是很大的，甚至会毁了他的一生。人，只有正确人士人生和自己，才能不受伤害。 -player(Bill); 2012-8-8 (#7703576@0)

对儿子不必这样。。。阳光一点。。大度一点。。。教育孩子少一点阴暗面。。。 -melifeisgoodme(好心情); 2012-8-8 (#7703582@0)

+1. -cute99(简单); 2012-8-8 (#7704025@0)

maybe I don't have experience, but I feel the way you try to educate your son is wrong. -princemeetsprincess(西门小鸟); 2012-8-8 (#7703583@0)

+1. -cute99(简单); 2012-8-8 (#7704026@0)

儿子谈恋爱应该是高兴的事，怎么你会这么紧张呢，除非他找了个厉害的角色。。。一直以为有女儿的父母才容易担心。。。 -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 (#7703635@0)
over-worried. i am a man and i didnt get hurt back when i was young, not even close. well, maybe some but really, wasnt that painful, when now loooking back -win(秋天的菠菜); 2012-8-8 (#7703650@0)

花花公子？。。。我听说有些男的两三天就能把对方忘了，听了这我真有种想骂娘的感觉。。。 -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 (#7703661@0)

what heck you talking about? you knew i been 忠厚老实 all life. say sorry. -win(秋天的菠菜); 2012-8-8 (#7703664@0)

sorry...菠菜。。。我没说你啦。。。。。。只是现在对男人知道多些后，不信任感始终缠着我，我知道不是人人都那样的，但就是免不了。。。 -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 (#7703678@0)

you knew i was joking didnt you? i meant kids recover really fast..... so, "现在对男人知道多些后，不信任感始终缠着我" ..... sounds storiry. mind telling? -win(秋天的菠菜); 2012-8-8 (#7703713@0)

sorry that I didn't know you were joking. I thought you were telling what happened to you ...Hope kids can recover much faster than adults -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 {126} (#7703825@0)
no story la...不过可能这世界还是遵守守恒定律，年轻时不受伤害，但只要有人因我伤害即使我不是有意的，到了年长时就该去补过了。。。

you are kindest person ever lived ..... -win(秋天的菠菜); 2012-8-8 (#7703967@0)

Hope -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 {32} (#7704027@0)
you are not making fun of me...

没有，没有，我名叫西耳里尔斯 -win(秋天的菠菜); 2012-8-8 (#7704035@0)

你儿子懂中文？很厉害啊！ -abetterworld(望远方); 2012-8-8 (#7703888@0)
当时觉得自己受伤了。。。。现在回头看，要是只有一片空白才受伤呢。。。。曾经经历比曾经空白强太多了。 -cute99(简单); 2012-8-8 (#7704039@0)

没有欲了。。。就应该去庙里。。。 -melifeisgoodme(好心情); 2012-8-8 (#7703542@0)
"六识" 是啥？这里说的“爱”，我理解不上去，谁能说个少儿版的？ -c__wang(花钱乐); 2012-8-8 (#7703547@0)
3 样都是人世间最美好的东西，不懂LZ为什么要说的那么灰暗。 -princemeetsprincess(西门小鸟); 2012-8-8 (#7703559@0)

毒品其实是很好的东西，但是一旦你失去了它，你就会痛苦一辈子，即使戒了，记忆任然会让你重新再来 -player(Bill); 2012-8-8 (#7703564@0)

If your son learned this negative attitude, it is almost guranteed that he will get hurt. As a father, all you need to say is, go ahead son, start your beautiful life. -princemeetsprincess(西门小鸟); 2012-8-8 (#7703574@0)

这就是我不知怎么跟他说的原因。他是一个很敏感的人，以前已受过一次伤害。但是世俗的观念就跟你的想法一样，我不能去干扰他，只希望他能明白这些道理。 -player(Bill); 2012-8-8 (#7703587@0)

I can only tell you what my mom did when I was 17 and started my first dating. She told me what the most precious things were in life and I should hold them back until I undestood. -princemeetsprincess(西门小鸟); 2012-8-8 {110} (#7703599@0)
She never tried to keep me from hurting, in stead, she taught me how to go through tough time when I was hurt.

remember what and how she had done it, apply to your parenting skills in a daily basis, act as his or her counselor. you will know what i meant today later on. -c__wang(花钱乐); 2012-8-8 (#7703610@0)

Yes, what she had taught me already became part of my personality and would never be forgotten -:) -princemeetsprincess(西门小鸟); 2012-8-8 (#7703778@0)

it is called "assets". -c__wang(花钱乐); 2012-8-8 (#7703831@0)

谢谢您的意见。关键在于人是不同的。你的妈妈了解你，做了正确的事。 -player(Bill); 2012-8-8 (#7703625@0)

Your son has grown up. He does not need to learn how to walk better to hold solid on the ground, he needs a pair of wings to fly, to everywhere he wants to be. -princemeetsprincess(西门小鸟); 2012-8-8 (#7703781@0)

as a parent your job is not to teach your kids how to avoid mistakes but to help them build the strength to recover from disasters. rather creating fears and doubts about love/relationship -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2012-8-8 {349} (#7703763@0)
in their mind you should encourage them to love whole-heartedly when you can, but be ready to bite your tongue and move on if ever you are betrayed or abandoned. it is very difficult for a person to be happy if he/she has so much fear. and, an unhappy person will never have a fulfilled life -- no matter how smart, handsom, or rich he/she might be.

为什么毒品是最好的东西？ -melifeisgoodme(好心情); 2012-8-8 (#7703575@0)

没有肉欲的爱，在情人之间存在吗，如果存在，太监取妻也就合理。没事天天琢磨这些，真是吃多了或是饿昏拉 -123dy(行间); 2012-8-8 (#7703572@0)

有些话，怎么跟你说，你都理解不了的。到此为止。 -player(Bill); 2012-8-8 (#7703597@0)

理解是懦弱的代名词吧，有胆就干，没胆就缩着做个好人，就这么简单，不要扯形而上学的东西，记住人的本能需要，是不需要道德家来上锁的。 -123dy(行间); 2012-8-8 (#7703611@0)

你说话太伤人。到此为止。 -player(Bill); 2012-8-8 (#7703622@0)

药到病除，快，准，狠，忠言逆耳利于行。 -123dy(行间); 2012-8-8 (#7703647@0)

年轻纯洁的时候，没有肉欲的爱肯定存在的 -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 (#7703641@0)

我相信啊，可是他谈的是现在教育儿子，自己都是过来人，不知道没性的婚姻是很痛苦的吗，自己痛了在前几天看的贴纠结，现在有误导下一代，所以看着生气 -123dy(行间); 2012-8-8 (#7703654@0)

您可能误解我的意思。我所希望的是控制欲望，而不是禁欲。人若是成了欲望的奴隶，那就完了。 -player(Bill); 2012-8-8 (#7703662@0)

所以你才痛苦啊，现在就要告诉儿子，喜欢什么样的女人就大胆娶过来，不要考虑其他因素，身体需要是首位，免得到后来痛苦，因为物质是可以改变的，换人是很难的，要伤筋动骨。 -123dy(行间); 2012-8-8 (#7703676@0)

我没看到你讲的这情况，lz让孩子结婚后禁欲？ -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 (#7703666@0)

前几天看到他写为一段情纠结，最后决定以家为重，为家人而活的牺牲品 -123dy(行间); 2012-8-8 (#7703682@0)

刚去看了一眼，他对爱情是悲观了些，但是当在爱情面前受到重创后，有这样的感慨我也是很能理解的。。。 -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 (#7703711@0)

不管哪一样...因为特别缺少才想特别得到...:D -ibean(黑豆子); 2012-8-8 (#7703593@0)
Each age group need different experience. Anything important to you today will just be a past in the future. However, we still need to follow our heart to looking for something which we think it is important as per our age and knowledge. -tracyl(花花); 2012-8-8 {618} (#7703637@0)
This is the beauty of life no matter in which age group.
Read something interesting before as follows,
1. In teen's, we dream of a lover in our life everyday,
2. in 20's, we dream of a family in our life everyday,
3. in 30's , we dream of a family with lovely kids in our life everyday,
4. in 40's , we dream of success in our career in our life everyday,
5. in 50's , we dream of rick or money in our life everyday,
6. in 60's , we dream of retirement in our life everyday,
7. in 70's , we dream of grand kids in our life everyday,
8. in 80's ,we think that if we can wake up next morning, it is ok.
这三样很难定义的很清楚的，因为它们经常纠缠在一起。。。 -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 (#7703639@0)

unless you are an extremely lucky individual these three things rarely come to you in one person. this is exactly why in an ideal world a man should always have 3 women: a soulmate -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2012-8-8 {172} (#7703818@0)
to share love (爱), a companion/spouse to maintain one's mundane being (情), and a lover to quench one's aching carnal desire (欲) -- we call it the "feminine trinity".

见到你这id, 我心抖三抖 -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 (#7703838@0)
this is not ture. I have all these from one person and give all 3 to him. I do not think it comes from luck, it comes from the ability how you are able to handle your life and relationship. -princemeetsprincess(西门小鸟); 2012-8-8 (#7703891@0)

俺觉得...靠缘分...努力...信心...运气...:D -ibean(黑豆子); 2012-8-8 (#7703912@0)

感觉LZ抽象思维能力挺强的，说实话我看不太懂。。。。。。 -win(秋天的菠菜); 2012-8-8 (#7703828@0)

也许受的伤比较重。。。 -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 (#7703848@0)

thanks for the caring. I assume you meant self-inflicted injury, right? otherwise you must be an extraordinary psychic to discern the imperceivable resentimnent from my statement -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2012-8-8 (#7703917@0)

Who are you? I don't have any desire to reply any of your posts, so could you please not reply mine? Thanks! -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 (#7703948@0)

I am not replying to "your" posts because I have no interest in you or whoever. I am responding to the commentator who made the comments about the author of my statement being "hurt badly". -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2012-8-8 (#7703974@0)

YOUR statement? where? If you didn't comment on mine first, I wouldn't comment on yours at all... -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 (#7704015@0)

I have no desire to argue with you -- but to be a devil's advocate why would you even bother posting anything here if you are so afraid of others making comments about your idea? -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2012-8-8 (#7704044@0)

你们在说什么，我怎么就是看不懂呀？ -win(秋天的菠菜); 2012-8-8 (#7704057@0)

也没看懂啊！ -abetterworld(望远方); 2012-8-8 (#7704071@0)
It is my mistake. I apologize. I assumed the comment about "being hurt" is refering to my statement above. I did not read it carefully. however, I do believe any post here should be open for comments unless it is something "politically incorrect". -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2012-8-8 (#7704079@0)

I am not afraid of anyone's comments, however, I feel very unpleasant to see your comments while it is always a happy thing to see other people's -fly_universe(飞越时空); 2012-8-8 (#7704067@0)

她是跟菠菜的帖子说可能楼主受伤比较重，难道你是楼主的马甲？ -wadakeng(HH); 2012-8-8 (#7704019@0)

跟着感觉走啦~~~~~~~ -dong3213(住在肥皂泡里的牛); 2012-8-8 (#7703674@0)
LZ是怕孩子分不清这三者？他交第一个女朋友之前有没有跟女孩接触过？正常的接触，比如小时候跟女孩子玩玩，跟女同学保持正常的友谊等。我觉得一直有跟女孩正常接触的男孩子，当碰到爱情，不会一头扎得那么猛，否则他的头一两次是燃烧很猛的。爸妈拉不住的。 -abetterworld(望远方); 2012-8-8 (#7703872@0)

这完全要看他遇到什么女孩了。如果那个是他梦寐以求，等了一辈子的，哪怕之前他谈过30个，他还是会一头扎进去，猛烈燃烧,欲罢不能的 -:) -princemeetsprincess(西门小鸟); 2012-8-8 (#7703911@0)

嗯...碰到这种事...有时候很难理智...很难自控...:D -ibean(黑豆子); 2012-8-8 (#7703929@0)
这个扎跟那个扎有点不一样，谈了30个，多少知道这个喜欢合适不合适自己，或者有没有本事（信心）征服到这个女孩，谈了30个的男人，大概不会打无把握之战了，没信心征服到这女孩，30男可能只会远远欣赏下。这个男孩是不知彼，壮士出征。 -abetterworld(望远方); 2012-8-8 (#7703944@0)

You will be so amazed how every man think he is the best and can knock down anything to get his dreamed girl -:) -princemeetsprincess(西门小鸟); 2012-8-8 (#7703962@0)

这也是家里有姐妹对男孩的益处，不会被女孩迷惑的太厉害，因为他们了解女孩的另一面，女孩也发脾气，撒泼耍赖，放屁扣鼻子，等等。反之也一样，家里有兄弟的女孩也比较理智些。 -wadakeng(HH); 2012-8-8 (#7703918@0)

就是这个意思。我有个亲戚，读书时家里管得很严，没跟女孩接触过，对女孩充满神秘的向往，结果初恋跟一大学同学恋得死去活来，女孩性格长相各方面，家里人说不合适，但这个时候他哪里听得进去，毕业雄赳赳气昂昂赴女孩家那边工作，结婚， -abetterworld(望远方); 2012-8-8 {78} (#7703959@0)
结果生了孩子后，一喝酒，就打电话回来哭诉后悔。

哭诉一段时间后，接受了现实。

爸妈都怕儿子遇到毒品般的女孩发生爱情，拉不住他去结婚，刚不久就后悔，儿子难受或离婚都管不了。。。 -11219(11219); 2012-8-8 (#7704053@0)

毒品般的女孩是不是指漂亮，任性，身边很多人追，寂寞的时候把某男随手招来，男的满以为女孩喜欢他；不寂寞自己有节目了，挥挥手让男的走？如此几次，男的痛苦不堪？ -abetterworld(望远方); 2012-8-8 (#7704082@0)

漂亮女孩一般较“缺心眼”，容易识别本性。我说的是象毒品般无色无味的普通相貌女孩，会装着掩盖本性，爱情不离口，很懂事。。。男孩结婚后才发现她很势利，本性显露。。。 -11219(11219); 2012-8-8 (#7704157@0)

你的想法很糟糕，别教育儿子，让他自由发展吧。你可以教他识别避开可能伤害他的女孩，避开毒品类型，选择一位好女孩幸福相伴。 -11219(11219); 2012-8-8 (#7704009@0)
可怜天下父母心。只是有些感悟是要亲身经历才可以体会得了。有些伤害是无法避免的，但可以战胜。你的总结过于抽象了，你儿子看懂了吗？在我看来，爱，情和欲是这样的。。。 -runawaybride(朱莉娅); 2012-8-8 {234} (#7705451@0)
当你看到一朵漂亮的花

你天天为它浇水，看着它成长－－－那是“爱”
你广而告之，叫上众人来观赏－－－那是“喜欢”
你摘下来放在房里给自己欣赏－－－那是“欲”

三种情感都可以带给人无比的欢乐，但要学会忍受失去后痛苦，并再有勇气去寻找。

@Philadelphia

Each age group need different experience. Anything important to you today will just be a past in the future. However, we still need to follow our heart to looking for something which we think it is important as per our age and knowledge.

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