I know I did a better job than you. And there's nothing need to show off. -gamma(gamma) @费城华人论坛:费城枫下论坛 The Rolia Forum of Philadelphia

枫下家园 / 家庭与子女 / 因为意外, 可能有第二个孩子, 如果要, 感觉是大难临头,LP 得放弃工作和追求,40000$/year 养一家, 如果不要, 终觉得一个小孩太孤单, 且小孩是可爱, 犹豫!!! -luck86(LUCK); 2004-4-14 (#1683756@0)

what a brilliant gift for you! -win(秋天的菠菜); 2004-4-14 (#1683757@0)
还是要吧.要,后悔的少.没要的,嚷嚷悔的倒常见. -ingridchao(Ingrid); 2004-4-14 (#1683761@0)
$40000养一家有问题吗？收入比你差的养一家的有的是，再说小孩子应该有些收吧。关键是两个人都想要这个BB，否则以后有毛盾 -guest12345(guest12345); 2004-4-14 (#1683766@0)
这要问你LP怎么想, 她愿意"放弃工作和追求"吗? -czs10m(Highlander); 2004-4-14 (#1683779@0)
别犹豫，孩子比什么都好！工作算什么，又不是找不到了 -fzhou(民工); 2004-4-14 (#1683781@0)

孩子也不是不能再生呀! : ) 条件不成熟迟一两年也未尝不可. -czs10m(Highlander); 2004-4-14 (#1683793@0)

It's totally wrong. -rockywei(落基山); 2004-4-14 (#1683815@0)

Right. There is never 条件成熟. It just like you never feel your money enough. -hahahaly(hahahaly); 2004-4-14 (#1683816@0)

我不想争, 我也不知道这家人. 但就我自己而言, 要是不能给孩子一个我自认为稳定的生活, 我不让TA来这个世界. -czs10m(Highlander); 2004-4-14 (#1683840@0)

等你有自认为稳定的生活时, 生孩子对孩子的妈妈而言是很不容易很难受的一个过程. -steamwhistle(beer); 2004-4-14 (#1683951@0)
我同意你的观点. -beibei(beibei); 2004-4-14 (#1684087@0)

Do you think you have given your son a stable life? It seems he lived in China for a quite long time. Do you think it's a mistake for you to bring him to the world? -gamma(gamma); 2004-4-14 (#1684194@0)

回答你的第一个问题：Absoutly. 第二个问题：Never. -beibei(beibei); 2004-4-14 {476} (#1684261@0)
每个家庭情况都不一样。我不想在这里透露太多我私人的情况，不过就我们家而言，从结婚，移民，生儿子，办团聚，买房子，买车子。。。一切都是按部就班地按计划实行。而这个计划中儿子是最主要的考虑因素。扪心自问，自从儿子出生以来，我们尽了我们的最大能力，作了最大的努力，让儿子有一个安全，稳定的成长环境。同样，我们还会对今后的第二个，第三个孩子做同样的努力。
就事论事，我这里仅仅赞同上面Highlander的观点。一个小生命的诞生前，父母应该做好心理上的，物质环境上的一切准备。否则只是苦了孩子。

If your baby doesn't live with you, how could you provide him with a safe&stable enviroment? Maybe you think you did, but do you know the feeling of your child? -gamma(gamma); 2004-4-14 {448} (#1684348@0)
I grew up with my grandparents and I'll never let my kids live seperate with me.

Even though my life is not as scheduled as you are. But for those: 结婚，移民，生儿子，买房子，买车子。。。I think I did a better job on each of those step.

Baby bring us good luck. It's amazing that each pregnacy brought new jobs for both me and my husband. If I lived on schedule, I'm not going to have my lovely son and not to mention my unborn daughter.

Well, 我说了，每个人各不相同，每个家庭就更不同了。一样的环境，一样的教育，可以造就截然不同的人。何必把自己的主观想法加在别人身上？ -beibei(beibei); 2004-4-14 {407} (#1684581@0)
我从小也是跟着外公外婆长大的,没觉得有什么不好,和父母的感情也没有任何的分疏.儿子在国内和父母的这两年,到现在和我们在一起,也没觉得他的性格有什么缺陷.孩子关键是看你如何教育.

btw, You don't even know me, how could you think you do a better job than me? Maybe you are, but who cares? everybody enjoy their own life here.

One thing I agree with you, baby brings us good luck, but you have to be prepared...

I know I did a better job than you. And there's nothing need to show off. -gamma(gamma); 2004-4-15 {579} (#1685169@0)
I bought my house because I want to give my son a comfortable home, I bought my car because I need it, I brought my son to the world and provide him with a stable and safe enviroment because I think it is me, not my parents who are responsible for my baby.

Don't you think I did a better job If I told you I did all of these within 2 years in canada? And I'm going to have another little one within 3 years

Baby bring us good luck. I just follow the life and didn't prepared anything in advance because my baby will teach me how to be a good parent.

Enjoy your life!

ok, what ever you said, enjoy your show off ! -beibei(beibei); 2004-4-15 (#1685219@0)
每个人的人生轨迹不同,并不代表爱孩子的心有什么不同.不要比谁更爱孩子吧.BTW, 你是说你打算5年之内有三个孩子?真是佩服你. -deepblue(Shopping...); 2004-4-15 (#1685233@0)

thanks for the information you gave to me, we have a appointment with the principal next week :) -beibei(beibei); 2004-4-15 (#1685255@0)

Good Luck ! :-) -deepblue(Shopping...); 2004-4-15 (#1685270@0)

Two is enough for me:)) 3 years 2 baby -gamma(gamma); 2004-4-15 (#1685282@0)

加拿大真够寂寞的啊，网上也不忘叫劲，我还见过夫妇孩子挤在一间地下室里过日子的呢，不过他们也能上网，看到你的好日子，他们一定会痛苦的不行。 -mqu27(泥泥燕); 2004-4-15 (#1685356@0)
YOU DID SHOW OFF YOURSELF. I AM IN THE SAME SITUATION AS YOU ARE, IT'S NATURAL. HOUSES AND CARS ARE THE BASIC STUFF HERE -732144(立阳); 2004-4-15 {111} (#1685566@0)
I WILL HAVE A LITTLE BABY BOY SOON. THAT'S JUST THE LIFE. BABIES GIVE YOUR MORE RESPONSIBILITY THAN HAPPINESS.

我起的头儿, 所以我多句嘴.每人的经历/精力都不同, 我原话也说了"但就我自己而言", 我想beibei"同意"也是"就她自己而言". 如果这一原则不apply to gamma,也用不着这般质问/指责他人的个人生活吧!还是就事论事的好. -czs10m(Highlander); 2004-4-15 (#1685173@0)

some people just don't want to 就事论事, like to show off her personal life , let it be ! :) -beibei(beibei); 2004-4-15 (#1685229@0)

两年内买房买车有什么呀，rolia上大把：) -fzhou(民工); 2004-4-15 (#1685239@0)
I said there's nothing to show off. It's an ordinary life, I buy something when I need it. Do you make preparation before you buy a cloth or a pair of shoes? -gamma(gamma); 2004-4-15 (#1685280@0)

No I don't! However, if I don't like it tomorrow, I can throw them away. Can you throw away a baby????????????????????????? -czs10m(Highlander); 2004-4-15 (#1685339@0)
Maybe we lead the topic too far away, but are you going to tell us that having baby just like buy a cloth or a pair of shoes? -maple_sea(BeiBei); 2004-4-15 {110} (#1685353@0)
I do research even before I bought my hiking boots. Just wanna make sure that I really need it and it fits me.

I agree with you as well. Having a baby is a very important thing for a family, so parents need to be prepared well...Let the baby teach her parents how to do, don't make a joke here. -alice2003(秋韵); 2004-4-15 (#1685287@0)

每一个孩子都是不一样的，当初我们也犹豫，但是孩子出生后，我们庆幸没有做出错误的决定：) -fzhou(民工); 2004-4-14 (#1683838@0)

看你LP的意思了，还有对你来说是LP的意思重要还是孩子重要。 -lazycat(chat paresseuse); 2004-4-14 (#1683787@0)
生下来再说嘛. -flyingpig(小飞猪); 2004-4-14 (#1683791@0)
你们第一个孩子是怎么养的？干嘛生第二个LP就要“放弃工作和追求”？？生完孩子回去上班就是了。 -holly(人生本来就是一场戏); 2004-4-14 (#1683795@0)

对了，是你问我关于找人打理草坪的事吗？很久以前讨论的。我找了一家，价钱不错。今天做了第一次treatment -fzhou(民工); 2004-4-14 (#1683851@0)

记错人啦 -holly(人生本来就是一场戏); 2004-4-14 (#1683939@0)
I am interested in it. Could you share your information? -dddddmmmmm(Chinese-moving-west); 2004-4-19 (#1690436@0)

www.greenlawncare.com -fzhou(民工); 2004-4-19 (#1690553@0)

$40K/Year is your wife's 工作和追求? -gamma(gamma); 2004-4-14 (#1683834@0)

我猜楼主的意思是LP要辞职带孩子，全家靠他打一份$40K/Year的工生活 -mrblack(黑森); 2004-4-14 (#1683849@0)

其实LP不工作，也有1年产假，都有2万拿，加起来也有6万了，比原来擦不到哪去，况且也就一年不是。 -fzhou(民工); 2004-4-14 (#1683868@0)

如果是我肯定要了，只有一个小孩对他成长并不太好。其乐融融的家庭是拿多少钱也换不回来的 -mrblack(黑森); 2004-4-14 (#1683888@0)

百分比200，同意！ -fzhou(民工); 2004-4-14 (#1683900@0)
哇,我们这些七十年代出生的多数都是独生子女,也没觉得家庭不其乐融融啊?只要父母相爱,对孩子好,我觉得一个两个区别不大.很多当地穷人养了一堆孩子,一旦家庭破裂,反而苦了孩子. -labelle(桃谷小仙); 2004-4-14 (#1683904@0)

一个还是单了点, 家里有了事, 连个商量的人都没有.话说回来, 养了一大堆, 家里的事你推我, 我推你的, 也让人寒心. 觉得两个比较好. -czs10m(Highlander); 2004-4-14 (#1683925@0)

少生孩子多养猪，这么浅显的道理应该明白吧。通常孩子越多，生活质量越差，就算有政府补贴，也是杯水车薪。我一个孩子没有，还没打算，你都有一个了，还要。坚决干掉，毫不留情！ -jqian(Q_Q); 2004-4-14 (#1683847@0)

够黑，嘿嘿！！ -fzhou(民工); 2004-4-14 (#1683860@0)
人越多，生活质量越差。==> 如果你LD也不挣钱，建议你把她也坚决干掉。吼吼。。　kidding。　: D -dundas888(登达寺); 2004-4-14 (#1683863@0)

老婆是选择的结果：先看到人，再决定是否一起生活。孩子不能选择。更何况只不过还是子宫里的一个肉芽而已，没有感情。所以完全可以干掉。如果都生出来了，有了感情，就不行了（何况还犯法）。 -jqian(Q_Q); 2004-4-14 (#1683870@0)

你真有意思！有点道理。我觉得要么一个不要，要么就要两个，一个还是太孤单。 -gaoshen(chubby); 2004-4-14 (#1683937@0)
ASSUMING你不是女人，当BB还是子宫里的肉芽已经有母子感情了 -2ndcup(迷惘ING); 2004-4-14 (#1683975@0)
你还没有孩子, 这么讲是可以原谅的. 有了孩子就不会这么讲了. -steamwhistle(beer); 2004-4-14 (#1683979@0)

谢谢各位关心, 只是LP现parttime工作,15000/year, 小孩即使生下来, 也送不起daycare, 又不舍得送回国去, 这样LP只能在家带小孩, 不是她所愿, 如果生活不稳定, 小孩也跟着受苦. 一双儿女,难道是梦想. -luck86(LUCK); 2004-4-14 (#1683978@0)

I think it's the best time for you to have the second baby, because of your wife's low salary. Your family will loose at most 15K a year for the baby. -gamma(gamma); 2004-4-14 {258} (#1684058@0)
A friend of mine has two kids, and live a happy life with his 36K/year income. Now his younger daughter is 3 and his wife find a part-time job 1 month before granduation from college. They never complained and they know their life will get better and better.
如果主要是因为要照顾孩子的原因, 这里的私人day care并不贵.一个月600就够了.你太太还是可以去工作的.要了这个孩子吧.都是上帝的礼物啊. -deepblue(Shopping...); 2004-4-14 (#1684076@0)

照顾两个孩子做家务还要去工作？不要给LP这样大的压力吧。 -yuanfei(yuanfei); 2004-4-14 (#1684105@0)

不是说一定要去工作啊.是可以去. 我觉得做几年的全职妈妈挺好的.等孩子上了学再工作也一样.实在放不下工作,就接着去上班.也都没问题. -deepblue(Shopping...); 2004-4-14 (#1684156@0)

说实话, Professional Career放下几年再干可就不容易啦. -czs10m(Highlander); 2004-4-14 (#1684171@0)

成长的烦恼 -mrblack(黑森); 2004-4-14 (#1684177@0)
agree. 有些gap不好弥补，毕竟在这里中国人跟老外的情况不能相提并论，他们在家呆几年后并不妨碍重新走进社会，而中国人就会难很多。 -lazycat(chat paresseuse); 2004-4-14 (#1684204@0)

老外也不敢懈怠, 我刚来时认识一个药剂师, 她先生还是医生呢, 两年内生了两个孩子,老二过半岁, 她就回去干PART-TIME, 她说:"我辛苦念了那么多年的书, 放下去就荒了." -czs10m(Highlander); 2004-4-14 (#1684213@0)

比起中国人毕竟还是好多了。俺们滑铁卢市的上任市长，Master毕业后曾当了很长一段家庭主妇，人家复出后影响并不是很大，俺觉得是跟社会关系有关。华人这样行吗？ -lazycat(chat paresseuse); 2004-4-14 (#1684220@0)

时代不同了，90年代以前，家庭主妇重就业还行；现在的世道，难 -diver(); 2004-4-14 (#1684257@0)

我都不知道你这帐是怎么算的。。。 -ruby92(桃逃在线); 2004-4-14 {366} (#1684608@0)
15000/year 的工资比一个孩子还重要。。。这种低工资的工作很容易找的。。。经济一好就更容易了。。。到那时，你们可能就不一定生的出小孩了。。。我看到很多高薪的夫妻都有这样的问题。。。恕我直言，做为男人，你承受压力的能力不太高，开头很多夫妻都是经历过很困难的日子，比你差多了，靠吃救济。。。可现在都好了，别人都能挺过去，你为什么不行？如果你很喜欢小孩的话。。。得罪了。。。
there are not much different between $55000 with 3 people and $40000 with 4 people after tax -nice2002(PlusTwo); 2004-4-14 (#1684692@0)

有孩子的能不能说一说，养一个孩子到底有哪些费用？让准爸准妈们也好计划一下，能生几个！HEHE -hardrockgogogo(又见飘雪); 2004-4-14 (#1684063@0)

一般生活水平，饿不着、冻不着就行了！ -hardrockgogogo(又见飘雪); 2004-4-14 (#1684068@0)

如果有了孩子，就不会这么想了，总想把最好的给他。费用还是看自家的情况吧，总之有下限，可是上不封顶.。 -yuanfei(yuanfei); 2004-4-14 (#1684092@0)

有钱有有钱的养法，没钱有没钱的养法，很难有一个标准。 -fishlonely(GPS终于修回来了。); 2004-4-14 (#1684136@0)
小孩出生后, 要给他吃喝穿, 不很花钱, 大一点, 托儿费, 玩具, 书籍, 再大点, 高等教育费. 三岁之前, 每天吃喝拉撒, 一天一洗澡, 还得哄睡觉, 他打个喷嚏, 你感冒, 碰到个特淘的, 他的精力比你好,当然, 他会带给你很多欢笑. -luck86(LUCK); 2004-4-14 (#1684739@0)

朋友的名言:多生孩子就给自己多挣钱创造动力 -charleslike(愚人); 2004-4-14 (#1684143@0)

@Philadelphia

I know I did a better job than you. And there's nothing need to show off.

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