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@Philadelphia

SO YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE TOUGH ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH AND TRY TO LEARN ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE --- (Part 2)

netwind(网风)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for grant. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find out that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither
from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to a
n asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Park in a driveway, and drive on a parkway?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burn down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and
in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity
of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights
are out, they are invisible.
Why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"?


HAVE FUN!更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
(#163820@0)
Last Updated: 2001-8-12
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  • 工作学习 / IT杂谈 / SO YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE TOUGH ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH AND TRY TO LEARN ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE --- (Part 2) -netwind(网风); 2001-8-12 {1909} (#163820@0)
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
    There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
    English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
    Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
    We take English for grant. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find out that
    quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither
    from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
    grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
    If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
    One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
    Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
    If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
    If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
    Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to a
    n asylum for the verbally insane.
    In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
    Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
    Park in a driveway, and drive on a parkway?
    Have noses that run and feet that smell?
    How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
    and a wise guy are opposites?
    You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
    can burn up as it burn down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and
    in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
    English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity
    of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
    That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights
    are out, they are invisible.
    Why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"?


    HAVE FUN!更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • cool! could you tell me where is the Part One? -erinca(erinca); 2001-8-16 (#169210@0)
      • SO YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE TOUGH ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH AND TRY TO LEARN ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE ( Part 1) -netwind(网风); 2001-8-20 {1368} (#174174@0)
        本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛The little treatise on the lovely language we shares is only
        for the brave. It was passed on by a linguist, original author unknown.

        Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.

        Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
        1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
        2. The farm was used to produce a produce.
        3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
        4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
        5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
        6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
        7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
        8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
        9 When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
        10. I did not object to the object.
        11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
        12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
        13. They were too close to the door to close it.
        14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
        15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
        16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
        17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
        18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
        19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
        20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
        21. how can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • I remember I have read these two pieces of writing on rolia before. But anyway, thanks. One question, how many people are real English lovers? Do you people overseas treat it as a must or really love this language? -birdincage(birdincage); 2001-8-21 (#174494@0)

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