To Keep a TWIN or not , very difficult and painful decision to us, please help. -isabelbaba(beibeima) @费城华人论坛:费城枫下论坛 The Rolia Forum of Philadelphia

枫下家园 / 家庭与子女 / To Keep a TWIN or not , very difficult and painful decision to us, please help. -isabelbaba(beibeima); 2004-2-19 {838} (#1612758@0)
Hi, All friends,

Sorry My computer doesn't have chinese character input and I have to type here in English.

I need some suggestions from your my friends on a very difficult situation my family are facing. We have a 14 month old very cute, lovely daughter already.

But my wife got pregnant AGAIN now, B-Ultrasound showed this time they are a TWIN ????? (10 weeks now). We are normal peple and not wealth. We worry we can't give 3 kids a good life if we have the twin. For sure the whole family ( 5 people then) will be just living for survival and we can't afford to raise 3 Kids. So I want to give up the twin as we can't give them good life. But my wife, as a heart lovely mother, she doesn't want to give abortion to the TWIN.

Should we have them or Not? Wu... Wu.. Wu.Wu.... Please give us your suggestions. Thanks.

双胞胎呀，2条小人命呢，怎么能不要，别人求还求不来呢。相信自己有能力抚养吧，千万千万不要有这种想法。祝福你们！ -lavendermm(加菲猫); 2004-2-19 (#1612771@0)
有子能享天福, 你们非常幸运, 俺以前有生意, 为了赚钱, 就作了后悔事. 现在有两个儿子, 天天乐的合不上嘴. 千万别..., 不然, 将来你一定后悔. -go4nature(蚯蚓 @@ 花木称知己!); 2004-2-19 (#1612798@0)

据说生子可带来意外财运。。。:-P -polareskimo(Inuit); 2004-2-19 (#1612800@0)

是天赐, 用银是换不来的. 如果谁想要俺儿子, 除非先送俺上天堂. -go4nature(蚯蚓 @@ 花木称知己!); 2004-2-19 (#1612808@0)

That is my dream! You won't regret it after you have them. Please please keep them. You will go through it. No big diffrence to raise 2 girls with 3. -chinatiger(能曾金刚的生神); 2004-2-20 (#1612820@0)
千万别!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!日子会好起来但失去的生命永远无法找回.祝你的两个小千金幸福健康.她们长大后看到你的贴子会感激你的. -chinatiger(能曾金刚的生神); 2004-2-20 {74} (#1612830@0)
我很喜欢女孩.如果有机会很希望认识你们那对小千金.我的小少爷也快生了.盼着哪!
双胞胎不要了，你简直是疯了。生双胞胎是我一生的梦想。我姐姐有一对双胞胎，羡慕死周围所有的人，再难也要把他们带大。 -wenti(wenti); 2004-2-20 (#1612908@0)
澄清一下，我现在的小孩是个girl, 双胞胎不知到是男孩还是女孩，这俩天就要作选择，真是很难啊！！！ -isabelbaba(beibeima); 2004-2-20 {262} (#1612918@0)
我们是要留下他们 or 她们，后果是不能给孩子们好的生活呢还是放弃从而能够有能力精心培育现有的这个小女儿？ 3 个小孩对我们来说压力实在是太大了。(在Canada,靠着不多的收入要养家糊口，要让孩子们有住房，好的培养，教育。。。真是很难啊。)

谢谢朋友们的关心。Thanks again.

千万千万不要不要，这是上天的恩赐，留下他/她们吧。 -wooway(纯洁GAME中文OVER运动); 2004-2-20 (#1612920@0)
留下吧，没有什么特别的理由，就是看这边家境非常一般的老外，做劳工的，家里常常都是三个孩子，他们能做得到的，我们中国人就更能做得到。 -cherry126(尚影); 2004-2-20 {242} (#1612923@0)
就算家境不太宽裕的，孩子们自己打工挣学费，也一样生活得很精彩，我带的班上就有老外的学生是这样，我觉得他们不比独生的孩子差，而且孩子们长大了以后，精神世界要丰富得多，更懂得什么是生活和爱。

留下吧，真的，我们好多人做梦都还梦不到你这样的福呢。
我有一个七岁的女儿，她天天吵着要我给她生个弟弟妹妹，我都甚至起过心想实在不行等将来有条件就领养一个，留下她们他们，Isabel将来也会好感激你们的——我知道独生子女和苦。 -cherry126(尚影); 2004-2-20 (#1612924@0)

但愿你明天一早就看贴子。 -cherry126(尚影); 2004-2-20 (#1612930@0)

留下他们，你将来会骄傲的 -charleslike(Unionville-愚人); 2004-2-20 (#1612941@0)
YOU HAVE RIGHT TO BRING TWO more innocent lives suffering and pain? -ra_95(小人-生命中的2条碧古); 2004-2-20 (#1612943@0)
如果上面的贴子还不足以让你觉醒，我给你一个实惠的：以后万一养不起暂送回国，这边3个孩子的牛奶金也够一家人过了。 -michellemf(damao); 2004-2-20 (#1613006@0)

这个主意欠妥，回国是不应该拿牛奶金的。 -luoboyang(萝卜秧); 2004-2-20 (#1613054@0)

还是留下来吧,我还希望我有TWIN哪,没有过不去的. -xx99(小眯); 2004-2-20 (#1613051@0)

生小孩为俺一个同学带来了好运气, 他是学林学, 在温哥华很难找工作, 生第二胎时, 一没身份, 二没毕业, 三没工作, 主要生活来源靠晚上在UBC打扫教室和厕所, 当时俺比他们好些, 经常互相照顾, 现在不同了, 在西温买了个豪宅. -go4nature(蚯蚓 @@ 花木称知己!); 2004-2-20 (#1613092@0)

换句话说: 儿孙自有儿孙福, 甭为儿孙做牛马. 只愁生, 不愁养. -go4nature(蚯蚓 @@ 花木称知己!); 2004-2-20 (#1613205@0)

不是我说你，你要是不要，我跟你没完 -win(秋天的菠菜); 2004-2-20 {36} (#1613124@0)
肩上的担子重点，没关系，扛扛就过去了

水缸 -luoboyang(萝卜秧); 2004-2-20 (#1613127@0)

兄弟我壮着呢 -win(秋天的菠菜); 2004-2-20 (#1613139@0)

一个老人讲过一句话: 孩子会带着他们的饭来的. 不必为孩子担心, 也许他们还会给你带来好运. -qinghua_meng(rabbit); 2004-2-20 (#1613157@0)
以后的困难可以想办法克服，孩子没了可是后悔不了的。想信我，路是自己走出来的。另，如果让你的双胞胎选择： 1。放弃生命 2。降临在一个不太富有的家庭。她们一定会选择后者。 -qsccn(笑语); 2004-2-20 (#1613189@0)
千万使不得。要是你老婆不想要还好说。你不要将来你老婆要恨你一辈子的。负担重会成为你的动力，驱使你去争取更好的生活，为了你的孩们。你要是个老爷们就象个老爷们的样，挺起腰杆承担起责任。退一万步， -23456789(大白呼); 2004-2-20 {92} (#1613191@0)
这是加拿大，享受儿童福利，免费教育，免费医疗。你就给口饭吃。能差到哪去？

留着，不能做掉！
what's ur family income? -babyface(︽酷起酷起。。。呀呀); 2004-2-20 (#1613203@0)
虽然只有10个星期，但这也是两条小生命啊，千万别做傻事。没有过不去的难关，上天会保守你们的。再说流产也是有危险的，很多人因为流产留下身体上的疾病是一辈子都无法挽回的。这两个小生命会给你们带来幸福的。 -rhykst(lamb); 2004-2-20 (#1613224@0)
留下孩子吧.這樣吧,你們把孩子留下來,有困難說一聲,我們來幫你.我看到雙胞胎都羨慕得流口水.或者生下來以後我幫你養吧.雖然我不富有,但是我可以不要大房子,好車子.跟孩子比起來,這些都微不足道. -yymeg(cherry); 2004-2-20 (#1613241@0)
很多东西现在放弃了以后还会有，但双胞胎放弃了，你一定会后悔的，想想两个可爱的小生命呀，没有过不去得坎，千万留住他们！！！ -julia2000(自由鸟); 2004-2-20 (#1613250@0)
看了朋友们的建议,看来孩子我们应该留下.就是不能给他们很好的条件哪. (双方的父母都认为3个太多,以后的生活对孩子,大人都会不容易. ). -isabelbaba(beibeima); 2004-2-20 {170} (#1613380@0)
会babyface的问题. 我们家我是主要收入来源, about 50K. But it's not very stable as everybody in Canada knows. We also need to support our parents too.

谢谢朋友们的关心.

善哉！善哉！ -qsccn(笑语); 2004-2-20 (#1613386@0)

孩子多了可能对大人的压力会大一些，但是家庭条件的好坏对孩子的影响就不是那么大了。即使在艰苦的环境里，只要有父母的关爱，孩子也会很容易找到快乐，也能够一样幸福健康地成长。 -cldonkey(whynot); 2004-2-20 (#1613457@0)

Between supporting one and supporting three are not too much difference except for busying, but you have more fun. -hahahaly(hahahaly); 2004-2-20 {219} (#1613444@0)
Our many guys here have brothers and sisters, I did not see one lives much better than two or more. You have 50K now. Many chinese family only had 80 yuan/per month 20 years ago, they still could support 2 or more kids.
你可能觉得各位站着说话不腰疼,但你一旦准备要.你可能确实得好好筹划一下了.有什么问题可以POST出来让大家帮你想想办法....记住 -chinatiger(能曾金刚的生神); 2004-2-20 {19} (#1613460@0)
穷人的孩子早当家. .
其實孩子對物資的要求是最低的,他們要的是愛和時間.給他們多一點時間關懷,比豐富的物資更容易讓他們滿足.有困難的時候說一聲,大家能幫的一定不會吝惜.嘿嘿,生了要告訴我們哦. -yymeg(cherry); 2004-2-20 {69} (#1613616@0)
我這兒還有不少孩子的用品,給你留著吧,要的話,說一聲,我收拾收拾給你送去.

don't give up! we can help you if necessary, every bady around can help. you'll spend less money to raise 2nd. & 3rd. babies than 1st. one, so, don't worry about it. enjoy your kids, enjoy your life! -yunboo(运波儿); 2004-2-20 (#1613484@0)

btw, i can't believe you earn 50k per year but you guys can't afford to raise 3 Kids. that's totally sybaritic! -yunboo(运波儿); 2004-2-20 (#1613506@0)

pls keep them. -jiajia98(京腔游人); 2004-2-20 {262} (#1613524@0)
they r already human being. v have 1 boy, and twin is what v always dream about. u gays r very lucky. sure, it's not easy at all to have 3 kids, but u'll have more to enjoy... "good life" doesn't mean everything has to be ready. all right, wish u the best.
Maybe I am not right or too selfish. But we always think if we can't give them good life why should let them come to suffer. We will go to see our doctor to see if there is problem if my wife gives abortion. -isabelbaba(beibeima); 2004-2-20 {484} (#1613744@0)
If it really bring problems to my wife. We will keep them.Otherwise we haven't decided yet.

BTW, after Tax, my incoming is 3x.K. We need to take care of our parents too. That will become 4+2+3=9 people. We need 4 bed rooms house which will cost at least 400K (in Vancouver). Also people say raising one kid to 20 you need around 150K-200K. (Yes, we are chinese, we can make it less). But still, how can we afford/handle all these issues.

I am sorry and thanks for your guys.

Do your parents(4 persons) all live with you here?(3 bedrooms) What's your good life meaning for kid? Do not give yourself excuse. -hahahaly(hahahaly); 2004-2-20 {292} (#1613772@0)
1, There are not too much difference between 3 bedrooms and 4 bedrooms.

2, "Also people say raising one kid to 20 you need around 150K-200K", but it does not mean two need around 300K-400K.

3, Many guys earn less than you and they have 2 or more kids. They enjoy happy life as well.
I agree with what you say about "if we can't give them good life why should let them come to suffer...". However -czs10m(Highlander); 2004-2-20 {339} (#1613775@0)
I am sorry to say, you should think about the 4+2+3=9 issue ahead of time, or at lease the 4+2+2=8 issue, not after your wife is pregrant ...... If you can afford 8 people, why do you make an effort to support the extra gift from heaven. If you can't afford 8 people, why do you bring them to the world at the first place. Think about it!

你跟我老婆说得一模一样，你不是我老婆吧？ -simmersnake(步履无声); 2004-2-21 (#1614615@0)

it's so sad. what can other people say about it. they are human just as you are. the only way you keep them is because of your wife's safety? -jiajia98(京腔游人); 2004-2-20 (#1614121@0)

还有你这号当爸的！我打！ -cfo(阅人有数); 2004-2-20 (#1614155@0)
你当然要早做决定啦，三个月以后的孩子就算有生命了。你“处理”掉他们的时候，我们这些做父母的心也被你蹂躏了一把。但愿您的女儿能不辜负你们的期望。告诉她，今后她的幸福是用两个人的生命换来的。 -simmersnake(步履无声); 2004-2-21 (#1614609@0)

希望你的女儿能不负众望，成为有用的人才。 -simmersnake(步履无声); 2004-2-21 (#1614614@0)

@Philadelphia

To Keep a TWIN or not , very difficult and painful decision to us, please help.

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